THE ALIEN INVASION (The Introduction)

Chapter 1 — Part II: The Bug Man In Blue Jeans

Catch up on Part I here.

Reality is what we image it to be…

Front porch of a cabin with jeans hanging on a line.
Cabin and Jeans

The I first time I saw the Bug, he was on the porch of a cabin in the backwoods. If ugly were not already a word, I would have invented there on the spot. The only association I could make to a civilized intellect was his wearing of faded blue jeans, although the effect was both frightening and humorous at the same time.

I set up the translator I had just purchased and introduced myself.

He then pulled his translator from the pocket of his jeans. The device gave an emote notification. “[Amused.]” Then a perfect human male voice spoke to me. “Please introduce yourself again. The device you are using seems to be faulty as I assume you are not an orangutan with uncontrolled emotions and sexual desires for extraterrestrials.”

“I am sorry, I bought this from…”

“Yeah, I know those guys. They love their practical jokes.”

I introduced myself again.

“Much better. Everyone thinks they can make a translator, but there are subtle challenges. Take the word for ‘Love.’ There is love of family, love of friends, and love of intimates to name a few usages. Clearly there are many opportunities for confusion. A good translator not only translates words, but it must translate context as well.”

“You must excuse us, we are new to these devices.”

“[Annoyed.] Groveling is not worthy of you. Stop it or leave.”

“Ok, is there anything you need from us?”

“I want to be loved. Is that something you can offer?”

“Me personally? Or everybody? What context?”

“Everyone from your planet… as friends.”

“No, I can not give you that. I have no way to make that happen.”

“Then, no, there is nothing I need from you. Now… ask your questions. I know you are anxious to do so.”

“Why are you wearing blue jeans?”

“In my life, I have been an ambassador to many worlds. Sometimes, adapting a little local culture eases the acceptance. Although it might be seen as respectful or even comical, it allows a connection, but if it causes annoyance, it should be stopped.”

“Why is everyone revealing themselves at this time? You have been here for eons, why now?”

“It is your coming out party. The galaxy wants to meet you.”

“Who is in charge? Who is in control of this?”

“There is no one in charge. Much like your world, everyone has their own motives for being here.”

“Are we in danger?”

“No more than you were before we announced ourselves. If you have not noticed, your planet has many problems on its own, but what specifically are you worried about?”

“Will we be taken away and kept as pets?”

“[Amused.] Cute as your species is, only a few of our zoos have the facilities to keep you alive. A hand full of volunteers should easily fill that need.”

“Are we in danger of becoming someone’s dinner?”

“[Amused.] For the sake of all the myriad heavens, no! Aside from the ethical dilemmas of most races in consuming animal tissue, you are a chemical hazard to just about everyone.”

“We are bio-chemically incompatible?”

“[Amused.] No, every living species on this planet is contaminated with heavy metals. No one wanting to live past a couple of millennium would ever even consider consuming any part of you!”

“Are we looking at extermination? You said you know the individuals that sold me the translator and they identify themselves as exterminators.”

“The brothers are clowns. I keep them employed to keep them out of trouble.”

“So we will not be exterminated?

“[Annoyed.] Only if you do not behave stupidly.”

“How do all of you survive on the this planet if you can not consume anything?”

“If we were in our natural form, things would be very different. Only a small percentage of us could breath your air and fewer still could sustain nourishment.”

“So, everyone is basically a cyborg?”

“A crude comparison, but I have no need to contest it. Many of us can also alter our image to blend in with your population. Let me demonstrate.”

The Bug, slowly transformed into a beautiful female, nude to the waist and still wearing the blue jeans, but in a more stunning fashion. “So, you do have sexual desires for extraterrestrials?”

“I… could…”

Then in a similar fashion the Bug transformed back. “Let us not test this any further. This is my natural form and it is better for you to think of me as unsightly and masculine. Your concentration is tenuous at its best.”

“So, everyone has been right here with us all along?”

“So it would seem, yes.”

“What about those of you that do not have good translators? Many of your kind have no concept of proper grammar.”

“Dogs, cats, horses, foreigners, inanimate objects. There are many ways to hide.”

“What of the visitors who have been killed?”

“None of our group is actually dead. My condolences for the ones you have lost.”

“What is the thing with the fascination for internal combustion engines? What about global warming?”

“Being part of an advanced civilization does not keep one from occasionally being irresponsible.”

Taking a breath, I changed the subject. “Why are you living here in the woods?”

“I own this place. I could retire here maybe.”

“You own this cabin? I was not aware of any off world individual owning property.”

“Yes, I own this cabin. The reason no one else owns any property is because I own the whole planet and I do not want some of these individuals living that close to me. I made a fortune long ago and I own many such places.”

“What? Are you joking?”

“No. I purchased this planet long before your species was around. In the last few centuries, the rest of the galaxy has become concerned about you, and they have requested that I do something about you. Basically, the neighbors have complained that I am raising dangerous pets.”

After I recovered myself I asked, “What are you planning for us then?”

“I am planning nothing. Normally, the intelligent indigenous inhabitants of a planet are granted title, but you are basically trespassers on my property. An Assembly of the worlds will meet and render a judgment on your fate, but it is actually all in your own hands in the end. That assembly will be composed of many of the visitors that you already know, so keep them all happy!”

This story is part of the series called The Bug Man In Blue Jeans. If you view my About data, a list of all the other stories can be seen. This particular story line is in a three parts. The next part is Part III — THE ALIEN INVASION (The Art of Immortality).



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JB Johnson

JB Johnson

I am a science and technology junky and this is my place where I can share my ideas.